Posted by: justbewhoyouare | June 14, 2010


The idea that you have a habit is in and of itself going to cause your so-called habit to persist. If you truly feel you have a behavior that you’d prefer not to have, the first thing you need to do is to acknowledge the awesome creator that you are. This first step is crucial to grasp, if you really do intend to stop an unwanted behavior. For example, let’s say you want to give up smoking. Well, what was the reason you started smoking in the first place? Whatever it was, I suggest to you that it was done out of love for yourself. Perhaps smoking helped you relax at times when circumstances in your life were stressful. Or, maybe you just wanted to feel accepted by a certain crowd that you identified with, and it just so happened that everyone in the crowd smoked. Whatever the reason was, acknowledge how amazing you are as a creator that you gave yourself such a gift of love. If you have trouble feeling that way about it now, look at the time you began what you now call your habit and accept that the motivation was love in one form or another—perhaps a way of protecting or comforting yourself. No matter what kind of so-called habit you have, when you can fully accept your role in developing such behavior and see it for the gift that it is, now you can begin taking action to shift away from your behavior. The only reason we make any choice, in the moment, is because we believe making it will make us feel good. 

The next question to ask yourself is, what is it that you do want? In other words, rather than directing your energy towards stopping something you don’t want to be doing, begin directing your energy towards whatever it is you do want to be doing. Place your focus there. Invest your entire heart into that which excites you and forget about the so-called habit. Meanwhile, each time you observe yourself engaged in your habit, honor it, thank it for serving you, and then let it know that you’re much greater than it (as the creator) and that you are now choosing to release it’s influence on you. You are the source of the power. Choose to no longer give power to this habit. In other words, let go of all the self-judgment you’ve been telling yourself about this behavior because there’s nothing right or wrong about it. In the name of love, you created it at a time when you felt you needed it. Now as the creator, you are choosing to invest your energy into something else—something that does serves you in the now moment. 

The effect that this will have on you is that you will begin observing that the control your behavior seemed to have over you at one time will start to disappear. Your power lies in the total acceptance of what is, bar none. By accepting your role as the creator of all of your life’s circumstances, which includes your so-called habit, and then focusing your energy elsewhere, you are literally diffusing any hold it may have had on you. You are simply taking away from your habit the power that you had given it to control you. So, it’s not a matter of trying to get rid of a habit. It’s actually quite the opposite. It’s a matter of choosing to create for yourself that which you feel you truly do want and in the process of placing your energy in this direction, you will quite naturally lose your desire for that which you are no longer giving any attention to. In this way, you are simply choosing to create a different reality for yourself, one that no longer includes your so-called habit. 

I also will suggest that you are not your habit and so it will not serve you to continue giving any attention to your habit, once you’ve managed to stop the behavior. For example, you think you’re an alcoholic and yet after you stop drinking, you continue telling yourself and everyone else that you’re still an alcoholic, even though you’re now dry. You’ve been the awesome creator all along. That’s a given. Now as the creator, why would you continue to invest energy into your behavior through the spoken word, even though you’re no longer engaged in it? This will only continue giving it power over you. To truly release all power and control any habit may have on you, it is necessary to completely stop giving any and all attention to it. In this way, you will eventually realize that you didn’t kick a habit at all. Rather, you simply chose to have a different kind of experience. For an example of my own process in letting go of a deep-seated belief (habit), see this blog entry: Beliefs


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