Posted by: justbewhoyouare | September 13, 2010

TRUE LOVE IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS

Most everyone is in search of love outside themselves, thinking that if we could only just find that perfect (body, relationship, whatever…you fill in the blank)….but alas, even if it shows up….aaakkk…it’s not good enough. Crap!…and off in search we go…again….

Yes, this is the way of the world, but it doesn’t have to be your world. Compassion does not mean taking on the pain of others and suffering with them. Far from it. It means total acceptance of what is, bar none–beginning with yourself.

Caring for others by worrying about them, fearing for them, etc., is actually a repeat of what I just expressed above, the hope that if somehow the world would just learn to love me, then I’ll finally be able to love me. No, it really doesn’t happen in that order, for the “good” of the world is all relative and perceptual. There are those who practice good but to us, it is bad. And then we feel bad (and even condemn) and wish things were different, and around and around we go…This is what judgment does. And in truth, hoping the outer world will change is just a form of control. We want to control it, to make it be what we wish it would be. But you cannot control the outer world. It’s an exercise in futility and you will always suffer attempting to do so.

At the end of the day you have you. Can you love you? Your smile and caring, it’s all beautiful but if it’s being shared in order to earn someone else’s love it’s not going to work because you cannot receive from another what you have not given to yourself. The only way to feel completely in love with life is to take off all the definitions and meaning and just experience it. All around us in every moment there is only love being poured out.

We have a tendency to base a now moment experience on the past and make it mean the same as it did before, and this keeps us locked into suffering. And make no mistake about it, thinking that we are being compassionate in the name of feeling the world’s pain, and worrying about whether we will ever learn to love, is just cloaked suffering. It’s not true love at all. They suffer and thus, we suffer. But there’s no peace there–not in you or them.

Only when the rest of the world’s choices no longer matter to you can you begin to find the inner peace you are seeking. You have to let go of all the tears and worry about “out there” and go inside where you will find a sacred safe space–this is where the real you–the compassionate unconditionally loving one–dwells. When you’ve cultivated that space inside, the outside world does what it does but all you see is the beauty, the gift, the perfection of it all. All those things that you worry and have fear about are not yours to have–unless you choose that of course. But why would you make it yours too? Ahh…good question—because we’ve bought into the idea that true love is to hurt (and even die) for another. But no, that idea has perpetuated suffering–in the name of religion I might add.

To cultivate this place inside requires, again, taking off all the definitions, for that’s what unconditional means. Someone’s hurt is there choice to hurt. When you hurt with them, it continues that energy. And the rest is history…The only way “out there” will ever stop hurting is when you choose to stop hurting and just be the love that you are. And this is what humanity is being called to do at this time. A peaceful and loving world can only exist on the inside. The outside will have something new to reflect back to you when you are being the love that you are.

Deep down I know you understand this because you try so hard and so badly want to see a “better” world. This tells me how much you want to understand. You are an amazing being, very beautiful and caring. Now share all that with yourself. Love and care for your wounds and allow them to heal within your safe and sacred space on the inside. Try this and see how your perception of the outside begins to shift. There are no problems out there. All is perfect…and in love.

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Responses

  1. This is another way of saying all love begins with love of self. And about that love of self thing. I don’t thing we’re ever finished;)


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