Posted by: justbewhoyouare | December 1, 2010


With the advent of December comes the busy holiday season and for many it is not an easy time because there is the potential to feel lonely and depressed. Even for those who are caught up in the spirit of the holidays, when January comes with all the bills, many of them too can easily find themselves in despair. But what humanity doesn’t yet know about itself is that we are divine beings having a human experience. Deep inside us can be found a love so great our humanness is not capable of comprehending it. It cannot to be found outside ourselves.

Humanity is being challenged right now to discover this love, and because the times we are living in are pulling so many of us way out of our comfort zones, that love needs to be experienced as compassion, which means to fully accept ourselves without any agenda. That doesn’t mean just accepting our external circumstances without complaint, we are being asked to open our hearts and allow this compassion to flow towards ourselves, to all our hurting aspects that our external circumstances are triggering. When we came into this world we brought them all with us in order to integrate them. Our life has had plenty of contrast in order for all our aspects to be revealed to us so that we could remember who we really are and then allow them to come home to our heart. This is actually why contrast even exists—to aid us in remembering who we are through the triggering of who we are not (our aspects). As hard as it may be to accept, the only place true love will ever be found is inside oneself. Again, it doesn’t exist outside us.

Many of us have what I call addictive personalities. We have the tendency to attempt to control our external circumstances through manipulating others for our own energetic gain. The most common and potent way this feeding occurs is through sexuality but there are many methods we use to steal energy from each other. We do this because we have bought into the illusion of being separate from the divine. This illusion causes us to feel unfulfilled and in need of someone else to complete us. On a gut level we know this is a lie so when we do find someone else, no matter how much we feed off of each other, deep down it’s never really completely satisfying and this dissatisfaction has been the source of the historical resentment between the sexes. So we’ve been playing all kinds of games with each other in a vain attempt to find something that cannot possibly be found outside ourselves.

Actually, all this game playing does not represent who we really are but only the human aspect of us, which operates based on past cultural conditioning, and is often distracted by these emotional aspects we created that no longer serve us. The games began because of these aspects, for our emotions convince us that we are something that we are not, such as lonely, sad, hurt, or angry to name a few. The divine has no such feelings. Essentially, thanks to our aspects, we don’t feel whole and are drawn to look for someone outside ourselves to feed off of energetically in order to feel better about ourselves (and if not someone else then we seek some sort of drug). These band-aid methods are only temporary, although most of us eventually die still using them because of having never remembered who we really are. A more lasting solution would be to connect to and identify with the divine being that we already are and always have been while we still have a body!

Until we truly have mastered the only relationship that actually matters, the one with ourselves, all other relationships are actually counter productive when they are only just one feeding on the other in search of an emotional support that can’t possibly come from anywhere other than within oneself. It’s one thing to have a friend you share fun and laughter with sometimes but in normal day to day life you seldom think of because you are so caught up in your love of life with abandon. It’s totally another thing when you cannot live without that person, when you want to feel the joy that comes from expressing yourself through exercising creativity and instead find yourself thinking of that person and longing to connect with them. That is very unhealthy and does not serve either person. This is the addictive nature I referred to earlier and at the end of the day it does not feel good at all.

In my own life, I allowed myself to be swallowed up by a religious cult for 23 years because I didn’t know who I was so I also didn’t know what I wanted. Hence, no creativity and thus, joy was rare. As if that wasn’t enough, six years after I had left that organization behind I again allowed myself to be swallowed up into a relationship, this time with a woman. It began as a long distance thing; she was drop dead gorgeous and lived in another country, two dynamics that made her extremely intriguing. The swallowing up occurred through the addictive nature of sexual energy, which when I became focused on it, was all I wanted to experience with her. It wasn’t long before I couldn’t live without going there and being with my lover girl. But it was a total illusion (lie). Not only did I not have the fantasized sex I so desperately had wanted with her, it wasn’t long before I began to feel suffocated. I was unable to play my guitar, take my daily walks, write, frankly, to do anything, because all I could think about was how to find a way to please her. And the truth is that I began a slow surrendering of these things that were important to me the day we first began communicating.

First it was the ways I wanted to conquer her sexually but when I joined her and that didn’t happen, all our energy went into attempting to figure out what the problem was so we could fix it. This energy of wanting to save the relationship actually destroyed the relationship because life was never meant to be figured out. Life is to be experienced, with abandon. All the sexual pull and later the analyzing were both illusions created by the mind. I want to point out that none of this was a problem for the divine (although the human aspect of us was choosing to make it one), nor was it any ones fault because the divine has no judgment. It was just an experience she and I chose to have in order to learn more about who we really are. That’s all life will ever give to us because life is always a reflection of what’s going on inside. However, when we don’t understand this and thus don’t learn who we are, we are prone to repeat the same experiences over and over again.

Humanity is being asked now more than ever before to master life, which means claiming our sovereignty as a divine being having a human experience. When that happens, life no longer needs to be a reflection because you don’t need it to be. Instead, everything in your world shows up to serve you because you are creating from your true genuine self. All aspects have been integrated so they no longer distract nor take control. This is freedom and it is the only thing we truly want deep inside.

That’s not to say that it is necessary to end our relationship with the world and move to the mountains to meditate in search of enlightenment, not at all. It means we carry on with our lives even as we become aware of our addictive nature. When you begin to really see how you are energetically feeding off of others, or others are feeding off of you, or both, you will see how you can scheme and manipulate at times to find a way to relieve the longing or ache that you sometimes feel. You also begin to see how addictive (and seductive) it can be when you’ve got emotional aspects popping up trying to pull you away from the things you love and when this feels overwhelming sometimes, you discover how easy it is to abandon yourself and run to someone else who brings you comfort and perhaps understanding and yet, is not responsible to heal your aspects. This is why it is so unhealthy to feed energetically because the aspects don’t get healed at all. What happens is that you get distracted by the high feeling that comes from having that person there to feed off of without any resolution to your emotional issues.

This is how the world has lived from the beginning but today we are experiencing a new energy and this feeding nature of relationships no longer serves us. What needs to happen is that rather than allowing yourself to be swallowed up by another for a temporary emotional high, you have to feel all those desperate aspects—the needy ones, the lonely ones, the longing ones, the ones that ache, the ones that want so badly to be sexual—all of these aspects need to be felt, experienced by you alone without agenda, and then lovingly embraced with total compassion by the one who created them in the first place—you. The creator is the only one who can fill their needs. And when they are embraced like that they melt, no longer needing to act out because they feel loved and understood. The very thing we thought that other person could do for us turns out to be an illusion because that other person has their own aspects to bring home and cannot possibly rely on you to do that for them. What is insane is that we continue to believe the other person has something we don’t have and thus need, which is why we continue to feed off of each other. We also pray to a god outside ourselves hoping he will take away the emptiness that we created. But again, it is only the creator that can take it away, and you are that. It is not outside you.

So in this new energy, relationships don’t work too well when they exist for feeding purposes. However, once all the aspects have been integrated, then two sovereign beings can come together and dance with life because they are free. They don’t trigger each other because there are no hurting aspects to be triggered. When you feel internally free, when you’re so strongly connected to your real Self that you are no longer battling with your aspects, nor resisting life, then such a relationship with another is possible. For now however, the relationship between you the human and the divine You is a full time job.

During this holiday season as we prepare to ring in yet another year, the greatest gift you can give to anyone is to have great compassion for yourself. The divine in you adores you, never judges you, and has no expectations of you. Let’s choose to identify with that kind of love. We have it right inside ourselves. Pain and suffering are created because of the illusion of need, which comes from the illusion that we are separate from the divine. Isn’t it about time we let go of that illusion? Fully accepting our divinity will allow us to fully accept our emotional aspects. This is the only solution left to free ourselves from our historic pain and suffering in order to create world peace. We have tried everything else without much if any success. To continue trying the same old methods is the definition of insanity.


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