Posted by: justbewhoyouare | July 1, 2011


When humans bought into the illusion of being separate from Source, we literally put our soul in a cage and threw away the key. Thus historically, for the divine to be fully expressed through any human has been rare. However, in this New Energy time we are living in, the divine wants to be let out of its cage. It’s tired of being silenced. The unconditional love of the divine has never had much of a chance to be seen or experienced by any human. All of us on a soul level are tired of living with conditional love and the time has come to change our love consciousness.

However, because the divine has been inside a cage for so long, we all have pent up emotions about this. Deep down a part of us wants to roar like a lion because we feel confined and boxed into a relatively unauthentic life we’ve created. We certainly do not feel free. From what I’ve learned about my previous lives, I realize now how valuable it can be to have the awareness that we are indeed eternal beings who have chosen to visit this planet on a number of occasions. Having such awareness provides the understanding that some, if not all of our emotional aspects probably have their roots in prior lifetimes. In most cases these aspects can be resolved without knowing the past life details. Just knowing you are not your aspects and that for whatever reason you carry unwanted emotions, you can choose to have compassion for them and invite them home. You may find that the divine aspect of you may give you some understanding as to how or why you created your aspects but if this doesn’t happen it means you don’t need to know. Remembering who you are and bringing home your aspects is the only thing you are responsible to accomplish in this life.

As it became easier to identify with the compassionate me whenever an aspect showed up, integration began to occur more quickly than it ever had before. This is one of the benefits of the New Energy. To give you an example of what I mean, I will share a powerful experience I had one day that brought into my awareness how I had created certain aspects in past lives. This experience came within a larger experience I was having in which my soul was teaching me about what I call the “need to be right” issue, which is another way the mind uses to stay in control over the heart. This larger experience began one day when a blue jay showed up in my yard and hung around for awhile, which is unusual, so I felt it was there to bring me a message. Nature definitely communicates with each other and there is much we can learn from observing it. Later I looked up the symbolic meaning of the blue jay in Ted Andrews book, Animal-Speak, and found these words:

The bright blue crest of the jay should always be a reminder that to wear the crown of true mastership requires dedication, responsibility, and committed development in all areas in the physical and spiritual. The blue jay is a reminder to follow through on all stages—to not start something and then leave it dangling.

Shortly after reading this I posted the following comment about being a master on Facebook and received a response from someone who had triggered me in the past: “A master has compassion for all, but most especially for himself. He knows that he can only make a choice to let go of something that no longer serves him when he’s truly ready and all craving to be free of it before this is futile. Patience with himself is his greatest virtue.” True or not, my perception of this person was that they have an energy that wants to battle in order to prove they’re right. Of course, I knew I wrote this person into my script so I could be shown that I have this same nature in me, because their response had once again triggered me. I chose to go out to my back porch and dance. As I began dancing, a woman on Facebook who I also feel has a need to be right popped into my mind. She too has triggered me in very much the same way and suddenly some recent words of hers came to mind, which added to the aspects I was already feeling. So there I was, dancing while feeling a lot of anger towards these two individuals.

Realizing these two represent for me my own need to be right aspects, I suddenly remembered how I sent love once from my heart to a woman I was working with at a factory who also was triggering me and it completely changed the dynamics of our relationship so that this woman, who had been notorious for accusing me of not doing my job, actually complimented me. I decided while I was dancing that I would do the same thing towards these two individuals. I began visualizing them and added myself into the visual. I sent love and compassion to the three images. Soon I began to cry while still dancing and holding this image. Suddenly a sparrow landed a few feet from me and boldly pecked around in the grass for a few moments despite the fact that I was moving quite swiftly. Later I looked up the sparrow in Andrew’s book and found these words: “The sparrow will show you how to survive. It will awaken within you a new sense of dignity and self-worth, helping you to triumph in spite of outer circumstances.” Andrews also indicated the sparrow served as an inspiration for peasants and lower classes in Europe during the middle ages because they heard of tales in which, “the insignificant sparrow triumphed over such powerful enemies as wolves, bears, and eagles—the traditional symbols of nobility and those who mistreated the peasants.”

These words gave me a lot of inspiration because I felt what I was doing was triumphing over what had been my perceived enemy—the aspects of me that need to be right. These aspects have caused me untold suffering in the past. I was using love and compassion to do it and I felt this was the unfinished business that was still left dangling in my spiritual work. A little later the blue jay showed up over on the side of yard while I was still going through this visual process. I felt it was there to remind me to follow through with this process until I had completely integrated this need to be right aspect so I continued until I felt at peace. I thanked these two individuals for showing up as a gift in order for me to come to terms with these aspects of me I had yet to completely integrate.

There was still more inner work to do however. Near the end of May 2011, a few weeks before having this dancing experience, a woman I met on Facebook sent me an e-mail indicating she was interested in becoming friends. I wasn’t sure exactly what that meant but I liked the fact that she didn’t trigger me—that was new. I didn’t feel she wanted to save me or use me and that was a breath of fresh air considering my track record with women. Still, there was a subtle voice inside that was gently telling me it wasn’t what I really wanted to do. The thing is, an aspect of me so very much wants to love and be loved by a woman and this particular aspect didn’t really want to listen to this inner voice. We started writing each other every day but perhaps because of my inner voice, I kept an emotional distance to an extent. However, after a few weeks I told her I really appreciated her and with that comment, I knew I was opening my heart to her on a new level. On the other hand, this immediately triggered several aspects that felt threatened. The bazaar thing was that there was no talk of anything other than friendship but I realize now, just opening myself up to her at all felt unsafe. I felt my freedom being threatened because I was projecting potentials onto the relationship that weren’t there, such as having some day to do things with her that I didn’t want to do. I’d done that while following Moon when I was involved with the Unification Church for 23 years, both for the sake of Moon’s mission and to please my wife. These were the aspects that were threatened by me opening up but this was all illusion.

I admit that to a degree I fell victim to these aspects for a few days by identifying with them, which only fanned the flames of their issue all the more and I even let her know what I was feeling, which freaked her out somewhat because she felt I was projecting my issues onto her, which was indeed true. This caused me to dig deep into my soul asking questions. I demanded to be shown the truth about this relationship—do I want to be in it or not? I also asked for a level of compassion that would allow me to integrate even the worst of these angry, insecure aspects. I’d had a history of allowing these aspects to rise up and push me around—like having a mutiny within my own inner being, and I was tired of experiencing this.

Several amazing things occurred the very next day. In the morning I was browsing through Facebook and came across a Yahoo! News article posted by a woman about a dog that had refused to leave a Jewish courtroom despite several attempts to drive it out. One of the judges then remembered a curse the court had passed down upon a secular lawyer who had insulted the judges twenty years before. The court had asked God to put the spirit of this lawyer into a dog, an animal considered impure by traditional Judaism. Clearly still offended, this judge sentenced the animal to death by stoning by local children. In her post this woman was offended by this judge’s action and one of her friends was in essence condemning the judge. I commented that such response is the reason why it exists but this only caused more condemnation to come from both these women. After a few posts back and forth between them and myself, I was compelled to write a long comment in which I invited these women to find compassion for this judge, that such compassion is what we are all being called by the divine to develop within our hearts at this time.

My post had the effect of completely shifting the energy. This woman wrote that she agreed with me but felt shame for such behavior by humans and her friend wrote that she agreed violence is not a solution. I then invited this woman to release the shame because it didn’t fit her beautiful energy, which I could feel radiating from her picture. She e-mailed me after this, telling me her heart hurt trying to understand why such behavior by humans exists but that my words were like balsam to her. She sent me much love and expressed she was truly thankful I was her friend. This other woman wasn’t a Facebook friend so I requested to become one. She right away accepted and in an e-mail she too sent her love to me. I was deeply moved by this experience and it occurred to me that my words had empowered these two women to choose compassion over hate. Because of my words, they were now able to more easily identify with their own compassionate nature. This felt wonderful.

What happened next truly amazed me. I was out on a walk and a vision came to me so strongly. I saw myself as a soldier, with several other men and we were about to rape a woman. The other men had her arms and legs secured and I had taken a knife and opened up her shirt and ripped off any clothing that was covering her lower parts. She had a gag in her mouth and was squirming like crazy and I was trying to calm her down, encouraging her to relax and enjoy the experience. Then I proceeded to enter her sexually. As this vision unfolded I felt strongly this was a past life experience and was in fact why I have not been able to have sex with a woman in this life. My Angelic Team once told me that when I was born I came in with an implant of sorts that said if I ever attempt to use sexuality for my own gain, I would sabotage the experience. This statement could not be more accurate to explain what’s happened in all my attempts to be sexual with women. As a person who has a great desire to experience sexual pleasure, this has been extremely frustrating at times to say the least.

My Angelic Team also told me I have had several lifetimes in which I abused women. So not only have women abused and used me, (which my Angelic Team also told me), I’ve done the same to them. Suddenly more pieces of the puzzle about me were falling in place. I now understood that I created fearful, hurting and angry aspects when I chose to allow myself to be abused by women but because of this, I also allowed some of these aspects to extract revenge against women, thereby creating a whole new set of angry, revengeful aspects. After this rape vision it occurred to me that part of what is necessary for my healing in this lifetime is that I empower women. I felt it was no coincidence that this realization came on the same day I had just empowered two women to choose love over hate.

Having an understanding that what’s taking place in our current life is without a doubt connected to past life karma can take away the frustration that often goes along with not being able to accomplish the things we think we want to accomplish. Acceptance that we’re responsible as the creator for what is happening to us is required of course, as well as a commitment to have appreciation and compassion no matter what because even if you don’t know any details at all about your previous lives, regardless of what you did or didn’t do in them, having appreciation and compassion is always what’s required to bring aspects home.

After this experience I asked my soul if there will ever come a time when I will be able allow myself to get intimate with a woman and received a yes, but not until there’s no longer any agenda because I have a tendency to attempt to control women, which occurs because I keep myself under control. I need to trust my intuition more rather than listening to the mind, which if it had its way, would always have me maintain the status quo. I also realized I need to become much more focused on having compassion for all the needy, craving aspects that pop up every time I see a beautiful woman because instead of inviting them home with compassion, I’ve had a tendency to identify with them, hoping that somehow I can control them in whatever way necessary in order to get them to love me. So again, I continued asking for the level of compassion that can bring these craving aspects home.

More things happened that day on my walk. I was coming around a bend when I saw a beautiful deer standing in the distance looking directly at me, as if we had arranged ahead of time for it to meet me there. I stopped and got my camera out and this deer stayed put until I was able to take several pictures of it. As soon as I finished it turned around and disappeared into the woods. A few moments later I came across a large turtle moving slowly across the trail. I’d been on that trail several times and had never seen a deer or a turtle there so I decided to look up in Andrews book about the meaning of these animals as a totem. What I found there astounded me. Regarding deer, Andrews wrote, “Are you trying to force things? Are others? Are you being too critical and uncaring of yourself? When deer show up there is an opportunity to express gentle love that will open new doors to adventure for you.” As for the turtle, he writes, “Are you not seeing what you should? Are you not hearing what you should?…too much, too soon, can upset the balance. Turtle reminds us that all we need for all that we do is available to us, if we approach it in the right manner and time.”

When combined, these two messages confirmed for me exactly what I was feeling about trying to make the relationship with this woman on Facebook work. As I stated, from the moment she invited me into it my inner voice told me it wasn’t what I really wanted but I allowed the aspect of me that wanted an intimate friend to trump my inner wisdom. Yet, every choice is always perfect, for indeed the soul is always at work. I was trying to force a relationship that I wasn’t ready for. I wasn’t listening to my heart and in order to understand this, it was valuable for me to continue with the relationship. The reason I wasn’t ready for this relationship is because I still have not brought home these controlling aspects. To get intimate with a woman is no different than getting intimate with my soul. You can’t have one without the other. As long as I keep myself under control, I’m not going to be able to flow with where my soul wants to take me. This is why I felt my freedom being threatened by this woman. I was imagining having to compromise myself to do things just to please her but the truth is, when love is unconditional, it has no need to control the moment. It accepts what is. Perhaps a different choice is desired but what’s happening in the moment is not a threat because there is no need to control.

The deer and turtle showed up to invite me to stop trying to force a relationship when I still need to be more caring and loving with myself. Too much too soon was upsetting the balance and my aspects were responding by wreaking emotional havoc. Both were teaching me there is still opportunity to express gentle love that will open new doors to adventure for me. Everything is in service to me and will show up when I approach it in the right manner and time—in other words, allow it without trying to force anything.

With this understanding, I couldn’t deny it was time to let this woman go. After telling her about my fears, our e-mails started to express drama but I quickly realized I wanted no part of that. As with the two who had triggered me before, I went out and danced, visualizing sending love from my heart to hers. At one point my visual shifted and instead of her, I saw myself. I was lifting myself up and twirling myself around as love was flowing from me to me. It was a dynamic experience and it helped me to release any need to be right. I was making the choice to let her go based on my desire to love me and had no need for her to understand that. At the same time, she had her own issues and I had no need to be for her whatever it was she wanted me to be. After that dance I no longer had any emotional attachment to this relationship.

Seven years ago I allowed myself to get into a relationship with a woman because I thought she at long last was my ticket to experiencing fulfilling sex. When that didn’t happen my need to control her and myself literally destroyed any hope of maintaining the relationship while learning to love myself. No doubt some couples help each other grow but this isn’t possible when there’s a strong need to maintain control. This ties into the need to be right as well. It’s the same thing, the need to control so that I’m always right. That relationship seven years ago lasted exactly three and a half months. Amazingly, this new relationship lasted exactly 24 days, or three and a half weeks! Of course, it really wasn’t much of a relationship at all but I am very grateful that it didn’t develop into anything more. In both cases, I wasn’t really following my heart. My soul is beckoning me into getting intimate with me and until that occurs, no relationship with another is ever going to work.

The day after the relationship ended was the Summer Solstice, which to some is a time to raise energy for healing as well as strengthening the sense of being part of nature, not separate but interconnected in a larger whole. As it turns out, nature continued to show up to guide me while I was dancing that day. A blue jay again landed and hung around and later I could hear a crow cawing high up in the pine trees that surround the back yard of my house. According to Andrew’s book, another reason the blue jay shows up is to “indicate that you are moving into a time where you can begin to develop the innate royalty that is within you, or simply be a pretender to the throne.” I knew this meant I needed to drop all need to look outside myself and place my focus more than ever on melding with my soul. As far as the crow showing up, Andrews explains that, “the cawing out of the crow should remind us that magic and creation are cawing out to us every day.”

Amazingly, on the Solstice I did feel a tremendous amount of magic in the air. That day I was overflowing with love and appreciation, more so than I had ever experienced before. In the morning I took my guitar to have some work done on it and then drove 25 miles south to another city so I could shop at a specialty grocery store. Even though the air conditioning was out in my car and it was 95 degrees (that’s about 37 degrees Celsius) and very humid, I loved every minute of it. Clouds appeared and I knew they showed up in service to me so that without the sun the breeze blowing into my car felt a bit cool since my windows were down while driving on the highway. On the way back I stopped to take a hike on a nature trail and continued to feel an enormous amount of joy and appreciation for life. When I returned I went to an electronic store and bought a DVD player. The home I’m staying in, owned by my brother, has an old analog 27-inch TV that I wasn’t using and it occurred to me all I needed to watch movies on it was a DVD player. Until then I’d been watching DVD’s on my 17-inch laptop. It felt fantastic to give myself this gift. I was continually telling myself how much I love me.

My next stop was to pick up my guitar. The shop owner commented on how joyful I was. He noticed my smile from ear to ear. I was so inspired that he’d finished the job on the same day I decided to give him a tip. I began writing the check out for $60 but when I actually began writing out that amount, my hand wrote “six hundred dollars.” I was surprised and had to write a new check but when I got out to the car I realized my soul really wanted to spend $600. I was so in touch with who I am that the idea of spending lots of money was thrilling to me.

As soon as I got home I hooked the DVD player up but couldn’t get any sound to come out of the TV. I could tell this was throwing me right out of my joyful feelings. I called the company that made the DVD player, hoping they might have some idea how to resolve the issue but they didn’t. I wanted this gift I was giving myself to work out with ease and became frustrated when it didn’t. From that point on my emotions spiraled downward. Later I called my brother and found out the audio on the TV didn’t work so that meant I needed to also buy a TV, which meant spending more money, not something I had planned on. By late evening I felt numb and empty and as I reflected on the day I wondered what the hell had actually happened to cause me to allow my joy to be derailed by such aspects.

The next day I received my answer. Once again I was out dancing and I remembered that the day before on the way home from the guitar shop I had seen a sign on the outside of an auto repair shop that was advertising a low price to get an AC recharge. As I thought of calling this place to make an appointment—another gift I could give myself, a fearful aspect showed up. The idea of spending more money on myself was a threat to this aspect. Immediately I realized this was due to all those lifetimes, including the present one, in which I carried such a strong belief that giving things to yourself is selfish and God doesn’t like people to be selfish. This belief was that you have to sacrifice yourself for others, or in essence suffer, in order to please God. As much as I wanted to believe I had already released such a belief, there it was in my face again and it was the explanation for why I had lost my joy the night before. The idea of having to spend more money on me to buy a TV had triggered the fear of God’s wrath.

As I was dancing I tried to imagine sending love to this aspect but I knew I needed to do more than that. I decided it was time to declare my truth loud and clear. I roared like a lion, “I am that I am and I choose to be abundant. I created these belief systems because at the time they served me but they no longer serve me and I hereby declare myself free of them. I invite these aspects to come home but if they don’t want to come they can hit the road because I’ve had enough of the belief that I’m not worthy of experiencing pleasure. The belief that God doesn’t want his children to enjoy themselves is bullshit and I release this belief NOW! The idea that I have to just barely get by financially, the belief that I can’t enjoy myself sexually with a woman, the belief that I can’t enjoy myself driving a nice sports car that has AC, all these beliefs are old energy and I no longer choose them!” I went on for awhile, shouting at the top of my lungs. I meant every word of what I was saying. When I finished I was becoming hoarse but as I continued dancing I felt peaceful, with an empty mind. Standing up and declaring who I am to all these aspects had gotten their attention. Afterwards I made some other declarations as well. I roared, “It is easy to love and trust myself. My abundance is always there exactly when I need it. Every single experience in my life is a beautiful gift. Every choice has brought me to this perfect moment. People always treat me with respect. Things just always work out somehow.” I felt strongly the truth of what I was saying.

Roaring like a lion does not mean you are battling with your aspects, pushing them away, or any such thing. What this is doing is standing up for your true soul self. Putting your foot down and saying, “I am that I am and I’ve had enough of suffering!” This is an expression that you’ve finally had enough of your tendency to allow yourself to become a victim to your aspects. So it’s a statement of clarity that you’re declaring before heaven and earth as well your entire soul being—all the different levels of the multi-dimensional you. Basically, you are making a choice on every level of your being that you are going to choose joy over suffering from now on by allowing your true soul self to be expressed. This level of choice goes out and causes a shift to occur on the soul level.

That day I was dancing I gave the divine a voice. I allowed it to roar as loudly and as fiercely as it wanted to. All these age old beliefs had been such a heavy burden to carry. They didn’t look good on me any more and it was time to stand in my I am shoes and let them go. Adamas Saint Germain once said through Geoffrey Hoppe of that to truly become completely free we have to want our freedom more than anything else. He gave a visual of someone being held under water to the point that if they went another second without taking a breath they would die. He said the level of desperation this person feels in that moment is the level of desire we need to break free from the core beliefs we harbor. This reminded me of Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. To find her way back to Kansas she had to reach a point in which she wanted it more than anything else. In other words, you have to identify with the divine, who is completely free to love without conditions, so much that you literally become the divine. All your aspects no longer have an issue because you have taken complete charge of your home. That is when the melding process is complete. That is when you are free.

The next day I got an AC recharge for my car despite my fears. Initially fear aspects did pop up but I let them know in no uncertain terms that I was going to give myself these gifts regardless of their concerns. As it turned out, the AC recharge cost more than the sign had advertised but I was okay with that. I expressed appreciation to now have air-conditioned comfort in my car.

I still needed to find a way to get the audio working so I could use the DVD player. Rather than buy a TV, I remembered I had some PC speakers that had defective plugs so I purchased some RCA male plugs to replace them. I carefully stripped the wire and screwed it onto the end of the RCA plugs. Doing this added new meaning to the term “easy” because the entire time I was enjoying the creation process despite the fact that it was tedious and required much patience. I could have easily seen it as hard and challenging. But I was full of appreciation and when I put those plugs into the back of the DVD player and turned it on, the audio worked! That was exhilarating. It felt so good to have participated in the creation process of solving this audio problem. From this I learned that as the creator if we literally had the ability to be like the genie in the bottle and just snapped our fingers to manifest something, in most cases this would take away the joy of the creation process. Yes, this ability has its place but one of the main reasons we wanted to become human was to have experiences. It’s when we judge them as good or bad that they become easy or hard.

My soul gave me a profound experience the following day. I went to the store where I bought the DVD player to return a remote I didn’t need and noticed they had a musical instrument department so I wandered in and decided to play a $1500 guitar I spotted on the wall. The sales people were busy and after about ten minutes I decided to go to a different department to ask if they could help me in the musical department. It turns out, the person I spoke to was a Supervisor and she made sure I was helped right away.

I fell in love with that guitar but not until the sales person hooked it up to an amp with over 100 pre-set musical arrangements to play with. I love to play my guitar to CD’s so this was right up my alley. An amazing thing happened while I was playing. At first I was a bit intimidated but I took a deep breath and allowed myself to shift the energy. It wasn’t long before I was in the now moment. I could see on the periphery some people standing nearby watching me play but it was as if I was in a bubble, completely safe. But the most amazing thing of all was that I felt a connection with my soul on a level I haven’t experienced since I took LSD in 1971. The only difference between that experience and this one was that this time there were no hallucinations (or were there—since everything is an illusion, who says what we see in front of us is not just an hallucination?). Driving home, I felt totally one with all things and the intensity of the joy was nearly overwhelming. This profound feeling stayed with me for the rest of the day. I was in bliss. This was far more exciting than the day I bought the DVD player.

The day after I was expressing tremendous appreciation for having had that experience and while doing so began imagining all the things I want to do and have. My imagination was never so clear! I could not only see myself with these things (a home on the beach, sports car, new laptop, monster bus to travel in, etc.) but I felt joy as if I already had them. Moments after finishing my rampage of appreciation a cardinal landed right outside my window. She was so beautiful and bobbing around with such delight I just had to look cardinals up in Andrew’s book as well. Here was what I found: “…a cardinal totem almost always reflects a need to assert the feminine aspects of creativity and intuition more strongly.” I immediately knew I needed to buy that amp. I didn’t buy it before because of my income situation but my intuition was telling me I would continue to experience a great deal of joy using that amp, even if I didn’t have the expensive guitar. My guitar is not a real cheap one and I do enjoy playing it. So I decided it was time to live my truth. I went back to the store and bought one, trusting the financial situation will work itself out by me following my joy.

The trip back to buy that amp was as joyful as the first trip. There were three sales persons whom I felt a tremendous love for. And, since I brought my guitar with me, I had a chance to play it through this amp and was absolutely experiencing bliss again! I know my energy had an affect on these sales persons. When I got home, after taking some time to breathe and relax, I sensed it was time to dance again. Not more than five minutes after beginning to dance a huge cicada killer wasp showed up, spiraling around me as if it was on the warpath. I started to tell it I understand it had a message for me and invited it to leave but it wasn’t listening. It just kept flying in a circle, all around the wooden platform I was dancing on in my backyard. I decided to ignore it, although that wasn’t easy because it was making sure I understood there was a reason it was there, but after about five more minutes it apparently decided I’d gotten the message because it finally took off.

Meanwhile, throughout the entire time I was dancing, which was over an hour, several crows were swirling around high above, cawing. From what I shared before, I could feel magic in the air. This was especially true because of what Andrews says about the bee, that they are, “…long-time symbols for accomplishing the impossible.” With both the crow and bee showing up, I sensed my soul was telling me that magic is about to show up, that what previously may have seemed impossible to accomplish is absolutely going to happen. Dreams do come true when you follow your soul.


Another thing that happened while I was dancing on that day I bought the amp was that I received a ton of inspiration that it is time for me to move to a new level with my work and that I should invite people to assist in my work in any way they can. Afterwards I was inspired to write the following:

One thing we can all agree on is that we are living in changing times. Many are aware there is an Awakening taking place on a global level the likes of which we’ve never experienced before. Some are calling this time the New Energy or New Consciousness. Everything feels very intense right now because the Earth is going through many changes in order to allow this new consciousness to unfold. It is a time when people are discovering a connection with their soul they had no idea was even there. I call it the melding of the divine with the human. There is a safe space within each human where the potentials for solutions to the problems humanity is facing at this time can be found. This safe space is critical because these solutions will never be found without going beyond drama, or being a victim, and especially going beyond dwelling on the past, and the only place this can be achieved is by entering the safe and sacred space within.

Those who have read my posts on Facebook or listened to my radio show know I am sometimes humorous, extremely honest, and always expressing tons of love. However, there was a time when I didn’t know I had such love to share. I was bitter and angry beneath the smile I attempted to keep on my face but I reached a point in which I had had enough of suffering, so I took the time to develop a deep self-love and compassion which I discovered had always been within, I’d just been unable to see it.

To find this self-love and compassion, my soul provided me with countless opportunities to face all the “emotional aspects” within that were wreaking havoc. I now have a keen awareness of how to release, or integrate these aspects. I have much to offer and it all comes from personal experience. Each time I released some aspects, a wealth of new insights into the human condition would gush through my handwriting like a geyser. Today I have been called by my soul to lead others into this New Consciousness era through sharing all this inspiration I received, and through example.


For those who don’t know my background, I’d like to share a few things with you here. In 1998, I was prompted by my soul to leave a religious movement I had spent the previous 23 years investing everything I had in. Even though during those years I struggled with self-esteem issues, there was one thing I always loved to do and that was teach. Throughout those years I taught a specific theology and during the last ten, I also taught martial arts. In addition to teaching in the U.S., I taught in Panama, Lithuania, Japan, Korea, and Russia.

Upon leaving, I knew there was something new my soul wanted me to teach but I also knew I needed to build a foundation, which included coming to terms with the enormous amount of emotional aspects that were continuously stopping me from truly being who I am. After five years of soul searching I was compelled in 2003 to move to Phoenix and create a seminar. However, I soon realized I was still not emotionally ready and when almost no one showed interest, it wasn’t long before I gave up (but only temporarily).

When your soul has something it wants to express, sooner or later that expression must come forth to be seen. In my case, the expression came in a way I least expected. We all know 2000 years ago a major shift occurred when Jesus walked the planet. The impact he had on the consciousness was so profound it’s still being felt today, thanks in part to the missionary activities of the Apostle Paul, whose travels and letters began the spread of what eventually became a worldwide religion.

To my amazement, in 2004 I learned that I carry with me the energy of this Apostle and that my soul is now asking me to teach what I didn’t understand at that time. As bazaar as this may sound, over the next several months and years I received a tremendous amount of insights about the Apostle that provided me irrefutable evidence. Perhaps the most surprising thing of all I learned was that he was addicted to suffering, an addiction I brought with me to resolve in this lifetime. Despite harboring a considerable amount of resistance, between 2004-06 I made a few more attempts to create a seminar only to again allow myself to become a victim to fear and doubt. However, not being one to give up on my dreams, I chose to teach through other expressions. In 2007 I moved to Florida where I self-published a memoir, A Grand and Glorious Adventure, and recorded a 2 CD audio, Developing a Relationship with Yourself. I also purchased an hour’s worth of time at a radio station so I could speak my truth. I was very excited to share my insights with the world.

In the Tampa area I again made a few attempts to create a seminar but had very little success, and by December of that year I had run out of money and had to find a job. I chose to spend the next few years focusing primarily on learning how to truly love myself, cultivating a deep compassion for me, and in the process resolved an enormous amount of my emotional aspects. This was no easy task.


The company I was working for went out of business in early February 2010 and I knew this was a sign that it was time to once again focus on expressing myself. I put all the information I had received about Apostle Paul together into a book, Apostle Paul: The Untold Story. Everything flowed so amazingly well that this book was finished within two months. I also got inspired to create a Dance seminar, The End of Suffering, in which I combined speaking with dance to enable people to get grounded in their body, which can greatly facilitate the integration of emotional aspects (see

During the year I was challenged to the core and yet a great deal of creativity emerged. I added to my expressions by creating an mp3 audio recording, How to Accept Yourself and Bring Home Your Aspects, a blog to share a wealth of inspiration that had been channeling through me for several years, and in September, began Mastering True Love Radio on blogtalk radio. I had many wonderful guests on my radio show but in March of this year I received from my soul that I was “a voice of the New Consciousness” and that it was time to focus primarily on teaching everything I have learned. To this end, I have invested everything I have into this work.

If you are not familiar with my message, I invite you to have a look at the over 50 blog posts available in this blog or to go to my radio show archives where I have over 35 radio shows you can listen to—all free of charge. I recommend beginning with the blog post, The Awakening, or the radio show of the same name.

Meanwhile, I am putting together some audio recordings of my guitar music in order to put out a CD later this year, and I am also currently editing the first draft of a third book, Heaven Is Now: A Handbook for Living in Emotionally Challenging Times. This book will literally be a handbook for navigating through emotional waters as well as for understanding how to truly love yourself and integrate your aspects. I have also been a guest on several radio shows. For more detailed information about me and all my products, click here:

My soul is telling me that when I finish this book I will be doing a speaking tour on college campuses around the U.S. Young adults today are feeling lots of pressure because they are inheriting what feels like a huge mess, created by their forefathers. Education as to who they really are and how to resolve inner conflict is vital if they are to go beyond what’s ever been done before in terms of bringing in a new paradigm of existence, which is in its birth stages at this time. It is my passion to contribute to the New Consciousness in this way.


The intense inner work I went through in the last several years to develop self-love allowed for the integration of tons of emotional aspects. Removing deep long time buried beliefs in being unworthy has been a long time coming but today I know I am worthy. I have not only claimed my self-worth but more importantly, I have released the addiction to suffering! I have also gained tremendous clarity from my soul regarding what it is we want to do together. This has created deep self-trust in knowing everything I choose to experience as motivated from within is going to work out. Like Kevin Costner’s character in the movie, Field of Dreams, I am listening to the voice of my soul and trusting that all is perfect. Like Costner, I just know everything is going to work out because I feel fantastic about it. This movie may be fiction but I believe in real life things work in a similar fashion. In fact, I have learned that joy is the primary means of creating what you really want in this New Consciousness we are currently in, so I am celebrating the changes taking place in my life with great joy!

It brings me great joy to invite you to participant in this adventure with me by helping make my dream a reality. For a detailed explanation of what I’m referring to, please copy and paste this link into your browser:



  1. I just adore your transparency towards yourself and towards your emotions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Thank you for being who you are and for being part of my life!

    I love you deeply my beautiful friend, and please keep up your(our) incredible job(passion).

    • Maribel, your comments are deeply appreciated and I appreciate the encouragement too. As you know, learning how to make peace with the now moment can be quite challenging at times. Thanks to people such as yourself, who are willing to take responsibility for having created a sometimes rough now moment, there are new potentials available for the consciousness of humanity to tap into so that they too can learn to take such responsibility. Do you realize what this means? We are truly creating the world we’ve always dreamed of!!!!!!!! I feel such a joy for having you as a friend and love you very much. Blessings as always….:) Oh and, thank you for making my words available to the hispanic community too. That is an incredible honor!!! 🙂

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