Posted by: justbewhoyouare | July 28, 2011

THE RETURN OF THE PRODIGAL SON

This is a partial transcript I did of a radio show of the same name on July 27, 2011. To listen to the show, click here: The Prodigal Son

We are each a being of light and for every single person on the planet, you and I are the only thing that exists. Everything else is being projected out of our consciousness and appears to be real, like a hologram. Since the nature of energy is completely neutral, and willing to serve according to where we are directing our light, then “I” get to choose where my entire being wants to focus, and energy conspires to bring that forth from my consciousness onto the hologram. Viola—creation manifests before my eyes. The fact that the focus of humans is fragmented onto so many things because of being uninformed as to who we really are is why our world appears so damn fragmented in the hologram. Most of us believe we are a victim and are constantly looking for a savior from this plight. This keeps our focus on what we don’t want—salvation, rather than what we are, which is love. In other words, we are looking for love instead of choosing to be love. When you are clear about who you are, so that your entire being is focused on love, then you are free to experience anything. This is a sovereign being.

I as much as anyone understand the power I gave to my mind to deceive me into needing an outside savior. And why? Oh, because I trained it to hammer me with stuff like I’m not good enough or worthy, or that I need someone else to love me or save me. So many of such aspects that I created have been showing themselves to me lately. Now that I see what an amazing creator I am, and how such perception is so seductive, I’m reveling in my mastership. Wow! What an adventure I’ve created througout the ages and especially now. If my life were a movie, it would be a blockbuster. If it were a book, it would be a bestseller, because my life is made of all the elements that makes a captivating story—great plot, mystery, suspense and all the rest. Not a lot of drama, but a good story doesn’t need drama if it has enough of the other elements. So I joyfully thank myself for such an adventure and am sitting on the edge of my seat waiting with joy to see what’s next.

To become a sovereign being requires going beyond your mind so that you take over the controls of your life, which is the role the mind has become comfortable in. However, the mind is not capable of leaving itself. All my life I’ve had a belief that the mind is going to eventually have to burn itself out. I think this is one of the reasons this whole thing about enlightenment is such a frightening thing, because there’s this feeling that the mind’s just going to have to eventually die, and there’s some part of the mind that say, “over my dead body. You’re not going to get rid of me!” Then there can be potential battle going on within the mind. It’s become blatantly obvious to me that one of the best things the mind knows how to do is to come up with doubt. What I’ve noticed in this process of remembering who I am is that despite the conscious choices I’m making, knowing who I am and taking active being steps towards doing those things I feel drawn to do, the mind still wants to do its own thing. At one point I asked my Angelic Team about this because I sensed that the mind of most humans goes through the same stuff. I wanted to know where’s the end of all this? Is the mind always going to be this way or will it eventually give that up? The answer I received has helped me tremendously.

In a sense, we are all in a life and death struggle with the mind. Who is going to win? Up until this lifetime the mind has usually won because it has its logic and indeed, it comes up with doubt because that gives it something to do. If you did not think doubt, the mind would not have any challenges to solve. It comes up with doubt because that gives it something to think about, to stew over, to look for solutions for. In a sense, the mind is a part of you that thinks it is an entity unto itself and it is determined to survive. It does not want to be annihilated. It sees you the I am Self taking charge, and it sees this as the death of itself.

Now, this is not true because the mind is a fantastic tool that you’ve given yourself. It is a servant. It is like you created a wonderful servant to help manage your affairs, to serve you and help you and then things happened and it was given charge. Now the master is returning and the servant doesn’t want to give up its power, its voice in the matters of your life. It feels it has worked itself into an invaluable role where you could not possibly function without it. Actually, the servant does what it does very well but it was never designed to manage your house or your life. Again, if we’re talking about it as an entity unto itself, which in a sense it is, but it is part of you, it thinks that if you take charge, if it lets go, it will be the end. Either you will do something so foolish that your physical life will end, or it will be the end of life as you know it, whatever that means. It actually doesn’t have a probable outcome that it’s specifically afraid of, it’s just afraid. It’s just worried that something bad is going to happen—this big unnamable, indefinable fear. It holds this over you in a sense. “If I let go,” says the mind, “something very bad will happen.” Whether it’s something that has to do with your physical survival, or losing your mind and going crazy—there is a huge overlay of fear and misunderstanding about that.

So, how to go beyond the mind? You have made the first step, which is huge and so important, and that is to understand you are not your mind. By now you understand, or perhaps you can feel the difference between the mind doing its thing and your own inspiration that comes from your heart, that comes from your full Self, what I have referred to as the “green light” feeling. In other words, most of the time you can feel the difference within yourself between your thoughts and your feeling perceptions. Understanding you are not your mind is a huge leap beyond what most humans have any concept of. So, when you understand your mind is not you, that it is a part of you that is meant to serve you, what you can do is communicate with your mind. I don’t mean to try to argue with or boss it around, or to attempt to control it, or to even try to reason with it, because anytime you use logic or reason, you are arguing with the mind, with the mind, which doesn’t get you anywhere. But you, the all of you, the sovereign I am of you, can communicate with the mind. You can let it know it is safe, that it’s not going to die, that you value its service to you, but that you are in charge and you’re not going to give that up anymore. The mind is welcome to its thoughts and worries and all of that, but you are in charge.

The one thing I would suggest here is to notice or observe when the mind is going a bit nuts, coming up with all its doubts and all those things it does, and instead of trying to stop it or control it or hush it, say, “Oh, you’re running in your circles again! Well, you have fun dear mind. This is what I am doing. I am making a choice for myself. You can have all the doubt you want to. I don’t choose to pick it up.” You can understand that your mind is not you even in a deeper way. You can imagine it as a very intelligent but immature child perhaps. The child may be able to do a lot of great things but it does not have the maturity to run the show. It needs the parent, which is you, your sovereign I am, to be in charge. It may scream and yell against the guardianship of the parent, but that doesn’t matter. You are in charge.

So, rather than reasoning with the mind and trying to talk it out of its fears and doubt, simply understand that’s what is happening. It is the mind coming up with these things, but you don’t have to take them on. Just because the mind has doubts doesn’t mean you have to doubt. Just because the mind comes up with all these stories and worries, questions and concerns, doesn’t mean you need to take them on. What is yours is what you choose, so even if your mind wants to choose doubt, you don’t need to have it, regardless of the reasons the mind comes up with for why it has doubt. So really, it’s very simple to deal with this. It is to recognize that it is the mind doing its thing, and to remember who is in charge.

This will not go on forever. At some point, the mind is going to realize, “Ah, things are better. I don’t have to work so hard. I guess we are safe, after all this time.” And you can even tell your mind, point out to it, “Now look at that. I trust myself. I didn’t listen to all the doubts and everything worked out perfectly. Do you see dear mind? I will keep you safe.” The mind works very hard to keep you safe. In a sense you could say that is the task you assigned to it a long time ago and in order to keep you safe it senses it has to look for danger, of whatever kind, from whatever direction, in whatever way. That is what the doubts are. They are to keep you from danger, but when you know you are now safe, that you can trust yourself, that you can honor your inspiration and let go of the doubt, that you don’t have to take them on, the mind is going to realize this. The mind loves evidence. As you know, it is very quick to point out evidence supporting its doubts. But at some point it’s also going to notice the evidence supporting the fact that it can trust you. You trust you most of the time. You know what that feels like. Simply build on that. Exercise that trust muscle. The mind will get it.

Another thing you can do, if you can do it without getting caught up in its entanglement, is to invite the mind to come with you into your expansion. Invite it to go beyond and expand into this new consciousness. It too can expand into it. It doesn’t have to control any longer. It doesn’t have to run things any longer. It doesn’t need any agenda. You can tell it that’s where you’re going. In order to do this, it has to let go of its control, the way it tries to push you around, forcing its ideas on you. This is all the mind has known and if it were to let go of these things, it fears for its existence. However, it doesn’t go out of existence, it goes beyond. It goes into expansion. Beyond the control, the doubt and the mistrust, is where the mind will eventually go when it starts to notice things are working out. Now you can consciously invite it. It’s going to happen anyway because it’s inevitable. The ease and the speed are up to you. If you leave it up to the mind it’s going to take a long time, but it is inevitable. So invite all that you are to go beyond. Your mind is going to say, “yes but how will we control it, how will we make it work? I want to understand it.” Simply let your mind know it’s going to be different now. It can trust you. It is frightening to the mind because in this beyond, the mind works differently. The mind does not function the way it has, so it has to learn a whole new way of existing, and of course, change is rather frightening. So simply accept your mind the way it is, in other words, without rejection, without trying to fix it or feel it is broken. Give it an invitation to go beyond, to trust you at last.

It will probably feel like you’re jumping off a cliff and indeed you are, and the mind wants to know that your wings are going to work or that there’s going to be a bridge or a parachute or a short drop, or something. Remember that you are eternal, you are infinite, and you cannot fall. You cannot be harmed. The mind worries about these things but you can have tremendous compassion for these very human concerns for survival. This is important because absolute trust in yourself will allow everything to work out without needing to create a lot of drama. It is fear, along with its concerns and worry that actually ties up the energy and slows it down as your abundance is trying to make its way to you. The best thing is to just jump with abandon and say, “Come hell or high water, no matter what, I will be true to myself. I will do whatever there is here for me to do, even if I have to do it from a cardboard box. I don’t want to do that but I’m willing.” Oh, in the past so many of us were willing to die for a cause. I’m not saying you’re going to have to end up on the street, but to have that level of commitment to yourself, to your integrity, to your own inspiration and your own passion, that is when the energies rush in.

The fear and doubt is a bit like you know you have to go over a cliff so you’re peeking over the edge and cautiously putting down a foot and maybe stretching out one wing, hoping you’re just going to step off and sort of float. Well, when you do that, it’s going to feel very unstable, you’ll probably slip and fall, when actually, and of course I’m using this little bird analogy, if you jump and spread those wings, then you will land on the air currents. You will soar whereas if you were just putting a toe out or a wing tip, you’re going to get off balance and tumble and fall and your mind will say, “see I told you it wasn’t safe.” If you can just jump with abandon, without fear, with such commitment to yourself that you will follow your inspiration no matter what, no matter what may have to change in your outside circumstances, that is when the controls come off, when the energies can soar, can come in and serve you in some wonderful ways. It frees up the energies to let things out of your life you no longer need and to let things in that are ready to serve you. If you continue this commitment to yourself you’re going to look back even just one year from now and be amazed.

Freely allow yourself to express and be who you are. If you have clear inspiration about what you want to do, now is not the time to hold yourself back, to limit your expression, waiting until you’ve become what you think will be acceptable, because this is essentially hiding yourself. In any given moment, how much are you hiding of yourself? Are you willing to be outrageous in your being, in your expression, in your speech, in your words, in your writing, in whatever it is you’re inspired to do, regardless of who thinks what about it? Take a look at the authenticity of your being in every moment. Are you holding back or are you pouring yourself out in grand expression in every moment? It’s such an important thing to just be yourself. That itself provides an inspiration for others who are still a bit reluctant to be so outrageous, to let themselves be heard without filters. When you hold yourself back it’s a bit like driving with your foot on the brake. You don’t go very fast and things tend to burn out.

If you have a clear and strong commitment and yet you’re mind still questions it, just know that it is grasping at straws. Give yourself permission to go deeper into life’s experience, to have experiences you might never have considered, whatever that might be. Go deeper into the belief systems you have. Become more and more aware of yourself and what you truly feel. In the past your belief systems may have stopped you from doing things but you no longer need to build your future on your past. The stories of the past were just one potential, one thing that could have happened. The future is unwritten and it can be built on anything you choose. The reason you came to earth in the first place was to just have experiences.

I realize why fear and doubt has popped up along the way at times when I was attempting to follow my passion. At the time when I honed the mind to protect me, I had the belief that I was capable of being hurt because I had bought into the illusions of being separate from Source and flawed at birth. Therefore I gave my mind specific instructions to never allow me to do anything that had the potential to cause emotional harm. Since I also believed heavily in needing a savior, I had little faith in my own ability to create. Without the ability to take responsibility as the creator of my entire world, I’ve always felt I needed someone else to take care of me. This translated into needing a savior such as Moon or Jesus rather than accepting myself as I am, realizing I’ve done nothing wrong, so there’s nothing to be saved from, and in needing to be employed rather than being self-employed and thus, trusting myself that I will take care of myself.

These beliefs caused my mind to immediately manufacture fear and doubt whenever I made a choice to do something that appeared to be irrational to the logic of needing to be taken care of. For example, when the company I was working for went out of business in February 2010 and I decided to finish my Apostle Paul book and begin working on another book, and later to create a radio show, my mind used fear and doubt to alert me to the fact that I no longer had a paycheck coming. It was just doing its job. Recently my source of income ran out. If my mind had its way, I would be looking for a job right now. However, I know I want to finish the book I’m working on and then get it published so, determined to stay in my joy, I am continuing with the editing as if nothing has changed. As you can imagine, this isn’t sitting too well with my mind because as far as it is concerned, my financial situation looks pretty bleak. The mind reluctantly accepted when I wasn’t working for the past year because at least a small amount of unemployment was coming in, but that is no longer the case. It now wants evidence that things are going to work out.

However, in previous radio shows I’ve already shared what happened at the beginning of 2011. I didn’t have enough money to pay my rent so I was prepared to live out of my car while continuing to write and do my radio show because that is what I felt strongly my soul was telling me to do, but as it turned out, I didn’t have to do that. Instead, my brother invited me to house sit a vacant home he had. This is great evidence I am now pointing out to my mind when it comes up with all kinds of fear scenarios of what it believes is going to happen without there being a secure form of income. Doing this has made a huge difference. It is accepting this and letting go of its doubt. This is allowing for my joy to increase. I know my abundance is a given by the mere fact that I’m alive because abundance is a natural state of being. In fact, you could say abundance is the same thing as your natural state of joy. If your joy is flowing, so is your abundance. For this reason, I am committed to finishing my book, getting it published and then promoting it in whatever way I get inspired to, because this is what brings me joy.

The evidence I have offered my mind is the foundation of inner trust I’ve been building, which has coincided along with the writing of my next book. In fact, a few days ago I was writing about these very things at my computer and a woodpecker suddenly landed near a tree out in the yard. It climbed up the tree, then came back down and wandered around the grass for awhile, pecking in the dirt, then flew off. Since I love to associate meaning to such incidents as a bird unusually showing up (I don’t see a lot of woodpeckers around my area), I chose to look up the woodpecker in Ted Andrews book, Animal Speak. I was once again amazed. He states, “When woodpecker comes into your life, it indicates that the foundation is there. It is now safe to follow your own rhythms.”

This was a wonderful encouragement because during this past week something shifted in me due to an exchange I had with Cristi Jenkins (http://www.cristijenkins.com/) on Facebook. She posted inspiration regarding her understanding of the New Testament verse, “In my Father’s house are many rooms…” (John 14:2 RSV) and five days later posted more inspiration concerning the parable of the Prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32). I resonated with both of these. The parable of the Prodigal son tells the story of a father who kills a fatted calf and celebrates when one of his sons whom he considered to be lost returned home. Jenkins likened her aspects to the Prodigal son and suggested that the father’s house actually refers to us, since we house within us the divine. The fact there are many rooms within the father’s house would indicate we have the capacity to hold every single one of our aspects within us. In other words, none of them gets left out. We are all big enough, and safe enough as well, to welcome home all the aspects we ever created, no matter what lifetime.

What I really enjoyed about her approach was to consider asking the cells of my body to welcome the aspects home like a prodigal son every time one pops up. That was beautiful and already I have added this approach to the tools I’ve been using when some fearful aspects showed up, and it seems to have allowed integration easily. For example, when I was looking at my financial situation a lot of fearful aspects popped up so I began speaking to them what I usually do, as the I am, letting them know I love them and inviting them to come home where it is safe. To this I added Jenkins approach, that I was willing and eager to hold my love for them in this body, that my body is the temple of God, the father’s house, and it is big enough to hold them all, and then I invited my cells to embrace these lost aspects because, like the Prodigal son, they have now come home. I could feel my cells respond to this with a warm feeling. That’s when I knew what I was saying wasn’t just talk, something was actually happening. Integration was occurring. These aspects felt safe and were being accepted by my cells. It was an amazing experience.

Another thing Jenkins mentioned was to those religious aspects that sacrificed so much in so many lifetimes, including this current one, hoping to get a reward in heaven, this approach offers them just that! This is so encouraging because it offers comfort and shelter to all such suffering aspects, bringing them hope—and a good reason to want to come home.

I continued speaking to my cells, declaring I will continue to choose what I want, which is what feels good, which is what the soul is inspiring me with, and the means will show up to support my choices because I am that I am, the one all my aspects have been waiting for. “Hear me on this,” I said, and again immediately felt all my cells tingle. I realized they (all the multi-dimensional me) are listening now and are accepting me, because I know the truth I am declaring is indeed my truth. There’s no doubt or questioning within me about this, which was so often subtly there in the past. These very aspects used to hear me speak my truth but would then accuse me for being a fake, but now they are realizing that isn’t the case at all. They may have felt that way in the past because I had a tendency to give up (temporarily) on my dreams, but that was only because the foundation I needed to allow my dreams to become real was not quite built yet. Now however, I can feel they are aware they are welcome and when they do show up, I’m welcoming them with this deeper resolve and knowing, and it feels wonderful.

The night before the woodpecker showed up I went to a deli to get a freshly baked Rotisserie Chicken. When I arrived they had a nice plump juicy one coming right out of the oven. A few minutes later I was at home enjoying my “fatted calf” meal and it was delicious. Later it occurred to me I created this experience to symbolize the return of the Prodigal aspects that were all lost. They are now all returning home where they are free and safe to reside within my body. To then read Andrew’s words indicating the foundation is now built so it’s now safe to follow my own rhythms was music to my heart. This gave me all the more reason to trust that all is well in all creation so it’s safe to continue following my inspiration to finish my book, get it published, and then go out and promote it.

I want to share a recent experience I had that reinforced for me this idea that the foundation is now laid in my life. About three weeks ago I was inspired to visit The Florida Museum of Natural History, located on the campus of Florida University in Gainesville, Florida. When I was done I noticed a large building adjacent to it and wondered what it was so I wandered over and realized it was the Phillips Center for the Performing Arts. No one was around but there were a few posters on the outside I was drawn to. The one that drew my attention was a concert coming in late August, Hippiefest, which will include among other performers, Mark Farner, formerly of the band Grand Funk Railroad. I went to my car to get something to write on so I could make a note of this show, since Mark Farner has been a tremendous inspiration for me in terms of guitar playing and the soulful energy he exudes. Another poster spoke of the Fab Faux, a Beatles cover band, performing on July 22nd. I’d seen three such cover bands in the past eight years so this was of less interest to me.

Well, the day before the Fab Faux concert, which I had completely forgotten about, an ad for it appeared on Facebook and it seemed to jump right out at me. I just knew I was supposed to go so I drove to the box office the afternoon of the concert to purchase a ticket. I have to say, I love myself so much for again following my intuition because this band blew me away, not only because of the quality of their sound, but because they brought the whole package with them, including strings and horns, to make the Beatles covers as authentic sounding as possible. But the real excitement began after the concert. Towards the end I was dancing like a maniac on the floor and perhaps someone in the box seats in front of me saw me because on the way out they walked up and handed me a backstage pass where I had a chance to have a drink and chat with the band members, which included Will Lee, the bassist for The Late Show with David Letterman, and Jimmy Vivino, Music Director, Guitarist and Arranger for The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien.

I also had a chance to say hello to Rich Pagano, the drummer, Jack Petruzzelli, who played keyboard and guitar, and my last stop was a chat with Frank Agnello, who also played guitar. Someone was asking Agnello how to get the band to play somewhere and he said, “Build it and he will come,” which is a Kevin Costner line in Field of Dreams. Immediately I explained I had just seen that movie about two weeks ago and totally agreed with it, that with enough faith you can do anything you want. Agnello resonated with this. Once I got home that night I knew the entire evening had been magical, all created by me for me, and sensed this was just the beginning of all kinds of magical experiences that will be coming my way because as I stated, the foundation has been laid. The fact that Agnello mentioned this quote and then the following day the Woodpecker showed up in an indication to me that I am right where I need to be. There’s no reason not to trust that everything is indeed going to work out.

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