Posted by: justbewhoyouare | August 25, 2011

STAYING EMOTIONALLY BALANCED IN CHAOTIC TIMES

This is a partial transcript of a radio show I did of the same topic on Wednesday, August 24, 2011. To listen to the entire show (95 minutes), click here: Staying Balanced

Humanity is going through the process of freeing ourselves from the historic illusions of being separate from God and being flawed at birth, which has historically created a collective mind that believes it needs to keep everything under its control. Ironically, this need to control is now spiraling out of control and we have all collectively agreed on a divine level that we’ve had enough of this. We want a solution. However, because of our historic belief in these illusions we have a victim mentality engrained deep within our DNA. We don’t understand we are the creator of what we see in our outer world.

A type of showdown is happening on a global level right now between the divine within us and the mind of humanity. That is to say, the divine is melding with the human and when our mind sees this it feels threatened. We each have plenty of aspects that don’t like the idea of the divine melding with us one bit and they are all on high alert and in a rebellious mode. There is the potential for an uprising of our aspects, a mutiny of sorts, to occur at any time going on inside each of us. The outer world is actually just a reflection of this. Universally across the board we are seeing a world in chaos because the inner world of humans is very chaotic at this time.

The so-called bad things are not letting up. In fact, things seem to be getting worse—the economy, more killers are on the rise everyday, and with earthquakes, tornados and fires, chaos and destruction increases by the day. We can all feel the intensity of this within our body. Nothing is like it used to be. We don’t feel safe or secure any more. All this amounts to a lot of suffering everywhere. We feel trapped in a world that appears to be extremely chaotic. To step into the shoes of the divine and take responsibility for the things going on in our world is a choice very few are willing to make because we simply cannot believe it’s true and even if you do believe it, it’s not easy.

The mind is the source of these aspects that don’t care about the divine. It doesn’t really even believe in a divine and as far as it’s concerned, it has to be the one to figure everything out. It feels responsible because that’s the job we gave it and in fact, it has only one agenda—to survive, and to this end it pushes us to do whatever we have to do to keep our life under control, that is, to somehow keep everything safe so no one can hurt us, and of course, so our money is safe. This is happening because the mind’s entire perspective is based on the two illusions of being separate from God and flawed at birth and because of this, historically the mind has had its say over the heart of humanity. It has dominated and has rarely allowed the soul to even be seen or expressed. This is why there have been so few individuals who have attained the enlightenment state, and that has all been appropriate given the mindset of humanity. In fact, even though we have all collectively agreed we’ve had enough, the showdown this is causing can be compared to trying to kick a heroine habit. The feeling of cold turkey, or letting go of what has been so near and dear to us, can be pretty intense and this intensity is what we are all feeling within. After all, at times the mind can provide some incredible rushes of pleasure and we feel we can’t live without these. We believe giving up control of the mind would be the end of these rushes and how can we possibly live without that? Ultimately, this is a fear of losing our identity of who we think we are because the only thing we’ve ever identified with is the mind. 

I truly have compassion for all because I am experiencing everything on the inside that everyone else is going through. I feel the intensity of a mindset that believes nothing’s ever good enough, and that there’s never going to be enough. This is what the vast majority of humanity believes and I too have aspects that have believed this for centuries. I understand the desire to attempt to control the outer world hoping to somehow get things back to normal, the way it used to be, or at least to a place where I can feel comfortable and safe again. This is the place my mind continually wants to take me. It goes around and around with this all the time and I’m observing it. This is what I call an addiction to emotional pain or suffering. It’s really an addiction to the historic mind. It’s a monster we all created collectively—total madness, but most humans are convinced what they’re mind is telling them is who they are, so much so that as I said, in this New Energy it’s now spiraling way out of control in its attempt to keep everything under its control.

Perhaps at times you feel like giving up and just saying screw it to your life. I understand this. I have aspects that get extremely sarcastic and cynical. Suddenly I’ll catch myself thinking. “After all the work I’ve done to integrate my aspects all I get in return is this—no money and still having to deal with even more aspects? What kind of a life is this anyway?” I have other aspects that get really angry at my soul and accuse it of dangling a carrot in front of me that I can never actually eat. When I get like this, this is not a bad thing because this shows me the core aspects I created once upon a time and since I created them, I am indeed responsible to bring them home. Once you’ve brought most of your aspects home you will begin to come face-to-face with the deepest core level aspects that you created. I’m talking about the most stubborn of them all, the ones that have so insidiously remained hidden and yet, always managed to show up just when things seemed to be going well for you and so eloquently talked you out of the joy you were experiencing. Because I’ve identified with these aspects I’ve kept my abundance and joy at an arms length. There’s a righteous anger that has felt really good identifying with. This is why I say letting go of this is like releasing an addiction to hard drugs. There’s a deep love for, attachment to, and identification with these aspects.

However, when you understand what’s really going on, you can see that the time has come to resolve all these aspects. As divine beings we collectively chose to create a mass consciousness that is completely alienated from the truth about who we are and because we’re now so tired of the affects of our choice, we’ve collectively agreed to let it spiral out of control in order to push us to find a solution to this dilemma. When you understand this, you become aware that you are not your mind and this allows you to begin opening up your heart to the divine that lies deep within you, what I call the soul.

The soul is who you really are, and it is the creator of this experience you are now undertaking of weaning off the mind and opening up your heart, learning to trust who you really are instead of placing your trust in your mind. In fact, you have already written the script of your life. This means you have arranged in advance everything you need to show up along the way throughout the entire adventure. In other words, at the end of your script everything has already worked out. You’re just day-by-day experiencing how it’s working out. Whatever you’re going through is a gift your soul is giving you because it is the perfect thing that is going to help you to eventually come home to yourself, and what I mean by that is to become fully conscious and aware of yourself at all times without any aspects pulling you back into illusion. This is where humanity is going and each of us is experiencing this process in our own unique way.

With this understanding, I want to talk about what you can do to resolve all these rebellious aspects you have within yourself, which is going to allow you to stay balanced within this current chaotic state of humanity. The first and by far the most important thing to do is take a deep breath and connect to the stillness that is within you. You don’t have to create it. You don’t have to push anything away. You simply breathe until you arrive at this place. Take a moment now to breathe. Allow your breath to expand throughout your entire body and as you do, become aware of your body. Feel your head, your neck, your shoulders. Feel your arms, your back, your legs, your feet. Just let go of the need to figure it all out. Allow yourself to relax into the chair you’re sitting in. Continue breathing. Feel your belly rise up as the air flows in and then feel it go back down with each breath out. Come back to you. This gets you out of your head. You are becoming aware of you—the real you. In this place, this stillness, this is where the divine can be experienced. In this place you can begin to find acceptance for everything that is going on in your life.

This is something I can only talk about with you. When you experience it you will know it. You will feel it. It may only be a half a moment at first when you suddenly became aware that just for a breath you were still. It is a place where the mind is not racing or even doing anything. It is a place where you are so in your body that it almost feels heavy. It is a place you can enter in and become with your breath. This stillness is the still point, the center point or core point of you in your creative potentials. It is a place where balance is found, the physical, emotional and mental. It is the balance point. Every time you experience the stillness, it makes it just a bit easier to return. So I invite you to feel this, to breathe this and to do this as often as you can because this is going to develop a safe space within you and you are going to need this space to go to when you become more conscious and are in your life because as you do, you become aware of all the aspects of you that you hitherto have ignored and pushed away. Suddenly they are all going to be showing up in your face seeking resolution and this safe space is precisely the place where they can be invited into and resolved.

I also invite you to feel the compassion that your divine has for the human you, for the issues you are perhaps struggling with. They are part of your human experience in this moment—neither good nor bad, right or wrong, big or small, they simply are what they are. Your soul has infinite compassion. Whether your human aspect of you is aware of it or not, there’s absolute compassion deep inside you, and allowing, and acceptance of everything about your human self. The divine simply allows it all to be and is inviting you the human to do the same. The divine wants you to join with it in fully accepting all of you. This is a process of willingly diving into and allowing yourself to become consciously involved in your life, being present in everything you do, and that is a scary thing for most.

Indeed, it can be such a challenge to truly, absolutely accept and dive into what you are experiencing. Yet, it’s important to understand that for as long as you resist any experiences in your life, or even having them in your life, they will continue to grow. I encourage you to go towards any experience. Dive into it. Release the resistance to it, but at the same time, there can be no agenda when you do these things because you will have the opposite desired effect when there is a desired affect, you see. When you’re diving in or going toward an experience as a means of ultimately getting rid of the experience, you are fooling yourself because there is a deeper part of you that knows you are still pushing it away and so it grows and it gets bigger to meet your strength. These experiences grow in their intensity and strength because you are growing stronger. And yet, if that intensity and strength within you is still being used to get rid of or to try to get rid of whatever you are experiencing when it comes to these things that are so challenging, it’s only going to make things worse. It is a difficult thing to comprehend within the human and within the human mind to completely honor, accept and embrace something that you don’t like because the mind says if we don’t like this, we need to get rid of it. If we say yes to this that means we’ll get more of it, and in a sense that is correct. In duality it has often been the case. However, in the new consciousness and the New Energy, things work differently. This is time in which we are being pulled by our soul to identify with it, which is compassion and pure love and acceptance, and in doing so, all the aspects of ourselves that have been fragmented and lost out in other dimensions will be able to at long last come home. Home means, we are coming back to the core of our divine Self, no longer being pulled and swayed by all these parts of ourselves. We are choosing to consciously be in our life and to feel our aspects with complete acceptance, no matter how painful that may be, and this is allowing us to become the divine beings that we are, free to be/do whatever we want.

So I am inviting you to add a tool to your repertoire, to your toolbox, but this tool does not work to get rid of something. You see, at the deeper levels, your soul has no desire to get rid of any of these experiences because they all add to its wisdom and its compassion and its knowledge. Your soul is simply having experience after experience and has no desire to get rid of or to change any of it. And yet, at your core you are seeking balance. You cannot find this balance as long as you are rejecting something. Those things that are so undesired do tend to fall away as you come into balance but it is ironic that you cannot push it away in order to find balance, and you can’t seek balance hoping that it will go away. Whenever your focus is on what you don’t want, even if you are trying to do all the right things as you focus on what you don’t want, it adds energy to it. There will be balance at some point. You will find balance where you will be in your divine Self more often than not, where you will experience these challenging things without getting washed away by them, where you will allow the emotions and the energies to be felt and will be able to let them pass through you without twisting your insides.

To help you get to this point I offer a tool but again, it will not get rid of anything but it will begin to allow the balance to come in. Every angel in human form is a self-balancing being. It is our natural state. We take ourselves out of balance in order to have all these experiences. That was the experiment we all agreed to play in. Even though so many have gotten themselves so far out of balance that it seems impossible to return, it is not. It will happen. It is a natural process. There is nothing you have to force or push or will your way toward. This tool is very, very simple and it will serve you if you allow it. This tool is to say and to simply breathe “yes” to everything that finds its way into your life—to every experience, to every emotion, to every imbalance, to every frustration, to every thought that is less than beautiful about yourself. To every experience that finds its way into your life, breathe “yes.” Breathe yes with so much love for you. Breathe yes with absolute trust that the balance will happen.

In a sense, it would be like a little child who has fallen and hurt his knee. He’s crying. The very best thing the mother can do is to hold that child and to say, “Yes, it hurts. Yes, you’re safe. Yes, I love you. Yes, your knee will feel better soon. Yes, I know it hurts. Yes, it’s okay. Yes, just sit with me and let me hold you.” Before long the little child is back in balance and he runs off to play again, almost forgetting his knee is bleeding because she only said yes to everything he felt. Nothing to fix, the body will fix itself—perhaps a little cleansing, a little loving care, but it was only said yes to. If the mother told the child, “you should watch where you’re going, you should not be so clumsy, you were going the wrong direction, no wonder you fell down,” all these things would be saying no, there’s something wrong with you. The little child would not come back into balance so easily. When you can say yes in absolute love to yourself, oh, then you can come back to balance. You are allowing the human to come back to balance. “Yes, I’m feeling this. Yes, I’m feeling that. Yes, it hurts. Yes, my heart aches.” Breathe yes. “Yes, I’m so frustrated with myself. Yes, one day it will be different. Yes, right now I don’t like it. Yes, it’s okay to not like it.”

Breathe with you. Say “thank you,” which is another tool I offer you now. Thank you is appreciation for the experience and helps you to connect to your soul. A third tool is to breathe compassion with you, whatever you’re experiencing. And continue with the yes until you know you’re not pushing away the experience. You cannot use this as a way to trick yourself. The yes has to be a true yes. It cannot be, “Okay, I’ll say yes to you if you go away.” That is a trick. “Yes, this is what I’m feeling. Yes, this is what my soul is adding to its memory banks. Yes, this is what this lifetime is holding for me in this moment. Yes, it sucks sometimes.” When you can say yes from your full self to whatever is happening, it turns off. When it is a true yes, not a false yes but a true yes, it turns off the resistance. It turns off the pushing against and that is what allows the balance to come back into your life. You don’t have to fear that if you say yes to something you don’t like it will grow, that’s not the way energy works, and yet, if you push it away, it will grow because you’re adding energy to it. If you say yes you are releasing the energy. You are releasing your attention and your ties to it and it will find its balance, whatever it might be. When you say yes you are setting you and everything in your life free to find its balance.

I’ll give you an example of how saying yes to some deep emotions I was feeling once allowed for amazing balance to occur within me. Back in the summer of 2008 I was doing a lot of line dancing and at one point I was dancing with a woman and just her movement alone—she was making a choice to move a certain way and that movement immediately created great resistance inside me. I was with this person and we weren’t just standing, we we’re actually moving along dancing. There was a part of me that just wanted to push her away physically, saying, “Get out of here, I can’t take this!” Right then was the time I said yes to myself.

This is to say that regardless of your circumstances, you come first. In my case, there was a woman who met some strange person who took off in the middle of a dance and wondered what that was about. So what! Going towards it doesn’t mean to confront the situation and to express those feelings with the other person. It is to go toward it inside yourself. Everyone outside of you are just props to lead you and reflect you back to yourself. Now, I was with a woman and something happened, a movement was made and something inside of me was triggered. A great resistance came up, and with good reason. There are energies—things I experienced in the past, mostly in past lives, that were being triggered that had nothing to do with the person in front of me. They were all about what was inside me, so in that moment when I felt this huge resistance I stopped and allowed it. The woman said, “What’s wrong, you’re not dancing?” I said, “there’s something going on inside me, I need to go outside for a moment. Perhaps I’ll be back, perhaps I won’t.” I didn’t explain myself. I didn’t need for her to be different. I didn’t need to balance anything with her. I just needed to say yes to myself. “Yes, I’m feeling this huge resistance in me. Yes, I’m going to go into it and feel it. I’m going to breathe with myself.”

What happened was, I went outside and sat in my car and breathed. My heart was pounding. I was shaking and my head was racing and I just felt it. I began crying and just experienced it. I kept telling myself how much I loved me and that everything was going to be okay. Eventually the emotions faded away and I went back in. I didn’t need to know what it was about although eventually I did, but in that moment that I took myself, like that little boy that hurt his knee, the mother in me took him on her lap and just let him cry and let him feel and just said yes to him. I took my human self and made a safe space for him to let him feel whatever was happening. The fact that I said yes to me set a precedent within myself so there was a little bit more safety that some part of me felt. You see, when that resistance occurred while I was dancing, it was because there was a part of me that felt absolutely unsafe and in order to feel safe I had to get away from that woman. It didn’t matter why but the fact that I said yes to me created a safe space, whatever that meant to me in the moment. It was all about me, there was no reason to inflict my reality on her and make her be a certain way. It was just about me and about taking care of myself. If you find yourself being triggered by someone else, take care of yourself. Whether you look like a fool or not does not matter. The most important thing is that you come first.

You can even say yes to your mind and watch your mind racing because your mind isn’t you. You can listen to your mind race and feel your body and observe it and remember that you are the I am that I am. Now, it’s also important to know that knowing you are the I am will not necessarily stop the racing around in the mind. Eventually it will calm down simply because it becomes futile because there’s a new balance that comes, but when you are in your I am divine Self, your mind still may be racing around but you will know your true self at a different level.

If you’re like me, if you reject or resist this experience of the mind racing and even judge yourself for having such thoughts, that can’t help but make you feel a bit judgmental towards others. I’d think I was better than others but then I felt guilty and judged myself for that and this went around and around inside me. There’s nothing wrong with any of this. I was just having an experience. I had to finally accept the judgment, “Yes, I do have a judgmental mind. Yes, I am in judgment right now. I think I’m better than them. Yes, I feel guilty for thinking I’m better than them.” Whatever is happening, just watch it because this is you saying yes to your aspects, allowing them their existence without restrictions. It is as if you are saying yes to that little child, allowing him to cry and scream. He thinks everything is wrong and you know it’s just a scrape and it will be fine. So you say yes and allow that chaos to rumble around inside but you, your true self, stay in balance. The aspects of you are looking for nothing more than acceptance. It doesn’t mean your expressions or your thoughts or all those things will immediately be still but they will in time become balanced when you stop resisting them.

I want to say something about healing modalities because there was a time when I thought there might be some healing modality that would help me be more in the I am because I was forgetting who I am and identifying with my aspects more often than I would like and I read stories or heard about people who released their issues through a healing modality. However, there is always a continual choice no matter what modality or healing method you use to release something. It is a continual evolution. By the very nature of being alive there is not any choice that is made once and for all forever more. There can be a change in direction. There can be a choice to move toward or away from an experience but it is a continual choice. Let’s say you make the choice to walk down to the park. You made the choice but you are not instantly at the park. Every step has to be taken between here and there. Sometimes there are detours. Sometimes there are distractions. You have made the choice and then there is the unfolding of that choice. As far as healing modalities, if you feel drawn to something then I would say to trust yourself, but there is nothing simpler or more effective than the breath.

You simply need to remind yourself, “I am that I am,” which is a fourth tool, and when you say this, breathe it all the way down to the bottom of your feet. Two or three breaths—deep, conscious, focused breaths will do more to bring you back to your center and calm your mind than anything else. When I’m speaking these things, sometimes my mind is like a little kid who has plugged his ears so he doesn’t have to hear what someone else is saying, and that’s okay but this is just another aspect that wants to come home. When an aspect has been triggered, breathe with the emotion. Do whatever you need to do to return to yourself. You see, that is the conscious choice. It doesn’t help at all if you find yourself thrown off center with these things coming up and you say, “Oh there it happened again and I don’t know how to deal with this, I don’t know how to stay in my center.” Instead say, “I choose to return” in the very moment you find yourself off center. You can focus on off center or you can come back to yourself. It is a conscious choice and a continual choice with every step you take. You keep your balance when you keep walking upright. Likewise, with every breath you take you make the choice to be in your balance. It is a continual choice. It is a continual choice to let go, to come back to you, to be the most important thing in your life—all these things. Eventually the choices become more, you would say, habitual. They’ll get a bit easier but it is a continual choice. There is no choice you can make that is across the board forever more. That simply doesn’t exist.

The closer you come to yourself and the more integrated you come into your core, the closer and tighter you are with yourself, the more and more your external life will align with that, will create itself in resonance to your resonance. No matter what is going on around you in your life, continually choose to return to you, to breathe with you, to feel you, to love you, to accept you, embrace you, allow you, everything that you are. And when I say be everything that you are, I mean the so-called good and the bad. To be all that you are includes everything. If being all that you are in a particular moment means being a bit frightened or concerned or a bit bored, or means being peaceful and joyful and exuberant, allow yourself that experience. Being all that you are doesn’t have to have definition.

When I chose not to express myself outwardly to this woman I was dancing with and instead chose to take care of myself on the inside, I never told her what happened. She never knew she had triggered me and yet after a few months of silently loving myself in the way I described, I was able to be around this woman without anything being triggered at all. Now, there may be times when you’re in a situation and you can’t leave, such as being at work, and something triggers you. Even then, you can apply these four tools I’ve mentioned silently on the inside as you deeply breathe. This means you are making a choice not to express your emotions outwardly and yet you are still taking care of your emotions. On the other hand, if you just stuffed your emotions and kept on working you would feel squelched, shut down and controlled and these emotions would then just continue to build inside you because you are pushing them away. When you make a choice to honor yourself, you may have the same outward appearance, that is, no one knows, but when you are consciously choosing to be in acceptance and saying yes to all that you feel—“yes, I feel this and allow it even though I choose not to outwardly express it,” that is very empowering to yourself and it sends a message to you, to your inner Self, to all of these aspects that are clamoring and trying to come back to you. It sends the message that you are safe, that you are a safe space for all these parts of you because you are in conscious choice.

Another thing to remember is that it’s not about you. Your core self is not coming from agenda. You’re in yourself in the moment but your aspects wake up. They recognize another person’s aspects, you could say. It’s not you! So it’s not about you but your aspects. The past of you, they’re not you but they’re tagging along with you because you are their creator so they are energetically tied to you. You are working diligently at integrating them and they are coming up and getting into your face, bringing all these feelings with them. It’s not you. Do not get into second guessing or judging yourself about why you feel drawn to someone who later ends up triggering you. Stay in your center and all those other things that come up, they’re the feelings and the memories, stories and games that your aspects are bringing into the picture. There’s no judgment here. You bring to yourself whatever you are ready for. You’re on the path of integration. You’re on the path of awakening. You’re not unconscious. You’re not bumbling through life with your eyes closed. Therefore, you will bring to yourself what you are ready for and what you are ready to deal with.

Say you’re out having a wonderful time and suddenly you encounter someone who triggers all these things. Thank yourself for this gift because that moment, that interaction, just woke up some more deeply wounded aspects that are now ready to come home or be integrated, where you can breathe them back home. They are feeling your safe space by the fact that you take care of yourself by breathing with yourself and even stopping if you need to stop. You bring these experiences to yourself for the gift of integration that they can deliver to you. Do not even play with the idea that there is something wrong with you or you are going backwards or you forgot yourself or all of these judgmental things. You are bringing to yourself exactly what you are ready for.

When you’ve built the foundation of a safe and sacred space within where you can return to with a deep breath, each of these moments allows for a new level of surrender. You can recognize each aspect that pops up and can stand in your I am presence and use these four tools to bring them home. You can say, “I am that I am and I understand I created you in my consciousness, but you are not real. You are just an illusion. It must have been appropriate at the time and I know this illusion has served me until now, but I no longer choose it because it no longer serves me,” and then take a deep breath and say, “and so it is.” I know you can do this too. I honor you and have tremendous compassion for you.

So, even though the world appears to be very chaotic, I encourage you to hang in there. Continue using these four tools I’ve given. Tool number one is to continue saying yes to all experience. Tool number two is to keep appreciating it because you are learning who you are and who you are not. This is helping with tool number three, cultivating compassion, which is who you are, and tool number four is to continue proclaiming and identify with this truth: “I am that I am.” Each time another core aspect comes home there is a new level of surrender and this has the effect of releasing your stuck energy, which has been tied up within all those emotions. When they integrate this frees up your energy so it can be used to express and be creative. Plus, like a pebble thrown into a pond, a ripple affect occurs. Releasing stuck energy also frees up your light and it now goes out into the consciousness, planting a potential for others to tap into if they choose. In fact, somewhere deep inside, every human feels the presence of this light despite all the chaos. Some people can actually sense there is a solution somewhere. It gives hope and encouragement to those who are ready so they can now choose freedom for themselves as well.

There are a handful of humans, a number that is increasing at a quantum rate by the day, who are waking up to the fact that we are indeed divine and have simply been playing a game within duality, having experiences and expanding in the process. I feel a tremendous appreciation to be a part of this awakening process that is occurring globally. This is the process we are all going through at this time of freeing ourselves from the historic illusions of being separate from God and being flawed, which has caused a collective mind to rise up and is now spiraling out of control. We are on a course heading towards the divine melding with the human fully and there’s no turning back. The best choice you can possibly make is to just accept it all and allow yourself to feel your aspects while choosing to stay consciously in the now moment, not running away from it. This is what will allow you to meld fully with your true Self and in the end, this will literally change the entire world.

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Responses

  1. THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! Loved it, every single word of it.
    Keep them coming my dear friend!

  2. Dear Maribel, what an honor to receive your kind words regarding my words. These are the words of my soul and I wrote them largely for me because there are so many aspects clamoring to come home. These words have helped me tremendously and I’m so happy they have also helped you. Certainly there are spanish speaking friends who will also gain and that is also why I say THANK YOU!!! to you, for making it accesible to them. Love and Blessings. Paul


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